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| Dreamy. |
Hopefully someone who reads this blog is not a direct descendant from my bloodline, and maybe doesn't know that it is unusual for me to have these feelings for a sports player. Aside from Michael Jordan and Scotty Pippin, part of my Chicago youth, I can't typically name sports dudes by name. But Chris Kluwe and his epic letter to Deadspin changed that.
For those who don't know the story, I'll summarize it here.
The whole thing started a few months ago when the Maryland State delegate Emmett C. Burns Jr. wrote a letter to Steve Bisciotti, the owner of the Baltimore Ravens, essentially ordering him to shut up his linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo's vocal support of gay marriage. I encourage you to read the letter if you think I'm exaggerating. It's two short paragraphs of pure bigotry.
Here is an actual quote from the letter, where Burns tells Bisciotti to: “inhibit such expressions from your employee and that he be ordered to cease and desist such injurious actions.”
For those who don't know the story, I'll summarize it here.
The whole thing started a few months ago when the Maryland State delegate Emmett C. Burns Jr. wrote a letter to Steve Bisciotti, the owner of the Baltimore Ravens, essentially ordering him to shut up his linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo's vocal support of gay marriage. I encourage you to read the letter if you think I'm exaggerating. It's two short paragraphs of pure bigotry.
Here is an actual quote from the letter, where Burns tells Bisciotti to: “inhibit such expressions from your employee and that he be ordered to cease and desist such injurious actions.”
A few days later, Chris Kluwe read it, and he couldn't sleep that night. So he wrote an open letter on Deadspin to Burns Jr. It's an incredible letter and I recommend you read it here. Here's a choice excerpt:
"This is more a personal quibble of mine, but why do you hate freedom? Why do you hate the fact that other people want a chance to live their lives and be happy, even though they may believe in something different than you, or act different than you? How does gay marriage, in any way shape or form, affect your life? If gay marriage becomes legal, are you worried that all of a sudden you'll start thinking about penis? "Oh shit. Gay marriage just passed. Gotta get me some of that hot dong action!" Will all of your friends suddenly turn gay and refuse to come to your Sunday Ticket grill-outs? (Unlikely, since gay people enjoy watching football too.)
I can assure you that gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life. They won't come into your house and steal your children. They won't magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster. They won't even overthrow the government in an orgy of hedonistic debauchery because all of a sudden they have the same legal rights as the other 90 percent of our population—rights like Social Security benefits, child care tax credits, Family and Medical Leave to take care of loved ones, and COBRA healthcare for spouses and children. You know what having these rights will make gays? Full-fledged American citizens just like everyone else, with the freedom to pursue happiness and all that entails. Do the civil-rights struggles of the past 200 years mean absolutely nothing to you?"
That is a well written letter.
"This is more a personal quibble of mine, but why do you hate freedom? Why do you hate the fact that other people want a chance to live their lives and be happy, even though they may believe in something different than you, or act different than you? How does gay marriage, in any way shape or form, affect your life? If gay marriage becomes legal, are you worried that all of a sudden you'll start thinking about penis? "Oh shit. Gay marriage just passed. Gotta get me some of that hot dong action!" Will all of your friends suddenly turn gay and refuse to come to your Sunday Ticket grill-outs? (Unlikely, since gay people enjoy watching football too.)
I can assure you that gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life. They won't come into your house and steal your children. They won't magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster. They won't even overthrow the government in an orgy of hedonistic debauchery because all of a sudden they have the same legal rights as the other 90 percent of our population—rights like Social Security benefits, child care tax credits, Family and Medical Leave to take care of loved ones, and COBRA healthcare for spouses and children. You know what having these rights will make gays? Full-fledged American citizens just like everyone else, with the freedom to pursue happiness and all that entails. Do the civil-rights struggles of the past 200 years mean absolutely nothing to you?"
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| Some people get literally all the good genes there are to get. |
Here's some things about Chris Kluwe:
He grew up in California as a child prodigy at the violin. He chose U.C.LA. over Harvard and graduated with a double major in political science and history. He is currently the punter for the Minnesota Vikings, blogs for the Pioneer Press a few times a week, is a guitarist in a four piece math rock band, had a perfect verbal score on the SAT, and is the physical incarnation of Nietzsche's Übermensch.
Just kidding about that last one, but this is a near perfect person. He's also very handsome! If I were his parents, I would be so overwhelmed by his ability to do one of the things listed above, and he does ALL of them.
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| At this point I feel like the media is just taunting me. We get it! He's perfect! He does it all! |
Right now, I can't get enough of him. Sadly, rumor has it he's very happily married with a lovely wife and two kids, and who can hate on that?
If you are feeling this obsession, and want to read two way better written articles about him, check out his New York Times profile from last week, and Out Magazine's recent interview, with pretty pictures, too.
Until next time.
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